291 - Speedy, United States, 1928. Dir. Ted Wilde.

Wednesday, October 18, 2017

291 - Speedy, United States, 1928.  Dir. Ted Wilde.

Harold Swift loves his life.  He loves baseball.  He loves his girl.  He loves his job.

That is, if he can keep his job.

He jerks soda at the soda fountain.  He does tricks.  Spins glasses.  Flips the telephone receiver.  Creates the Yankees-White Sox box score using doughnuts and pretzels so that the cooks in the kitchen can keep up with the game.

But the boss needs him to run an errand.  Take flowers to the wife of a customer to square with her for his being up all night.

If Speedy does not deliver the flowers within ten minutes he will be fired.

Speedy is up to the task.  Speedy is Swift's nickname.  To let you know that he is fast.  In case the name Swift does not communicate it to you.

Like the great satirical writer Jonathan Speedy Swift.

Or the pop singer Taylor Speedy Swift.

Speedy rushes to the street.  Goes to hail a taxi.  But sees the box score display at a sporting goods store.  Men are gathered around it.  He cannot see.  He has to get an update on the game.  He climbs atop a car.  Sits on the roof.  Sees the box score.  Someone gets in the car.  Shuts the door on the flowers.  Speedy jumps down.  The car drives off.  Takes the buds with it.  Leaves him with the stems.  He buys a paper.  Opens to the classifieds.  Looks for a new job.

Speedy's girlfriend is Jane.  Jane Dillon.  She lives with her grand-daddy.  Pop Dillon.  Pop drives a horse-drawn trolley.  The last one in New York City.  Some men want to buy it.  Mergers and Acquisitions.  Consolidate the rail business to create one strong local railway.  No more mom and pop trolley stops.

A man comes to call.  W. S. Wilton.  Vice President.  N. Y. Inter-City R. R. Co.  He wants to buy Pop's business.  Shut him down.  He asks Pop's price.  Pop writes 10,000 on the back of Wilton's business card.  Speedy sees a headline.  "Merger of Street Railways Planned."  Sees that the plan "cannot succeed unless small franchises are bought up."

Pop gives the card to Speedy to give to Wilton.  Speedy drops it on the floor.  He bends down.  Adds a single stroke to the numeral one.  Changes 10,000 to 70,000.

Wilton is insulted.

"Why, this price is ridiculous for an old contraption like yours."

He walks out.  Threatens to force Pop out.

It is Saturday.

Monday Speedy will look for a new job.  But first, on Sunday he will take Jane to Coney Island.

Sunday.

Speedy takes Jane to Coney Island.

For the next twenty minutes we go on a romp with them as mayhem besets their escapades.

Monday.

Speedy finds a new job.  As a taxi driver.

For the next twenty minutes we go on an adventure with him as mayhem besets his first day.

We will spend half of that time with Babe Ruth, in a star cameo, as Speedy's first fare after a day of thwarted attempts.

At the end of which Speedy loses his job.

But in the process of hiding in a phone booth he overhears Mr. Wilton in the next booth over.  Wilton is making plans to have a gang run off Pop so that he cannot run his trolley in a twenty-four hour period.  If he does not run at least once every twenty-four hours, they can shut him down.

Speedy concocts a plan.  He will save Pop.

At night a group of men use Pop's car for drinking and gambling.  He assembles them to be his first-string defense.  They are motivated.  They do not wish to lose their gambling car.

Tuesday.

Speedy drives the trolley in place of Pop.  Wilton's gang boards.  Speedy calls out the password.  The gambling men assemble.  They fight the gang.

For the next ten minutes we follow the fight as mayhem besets the horse-drawn trolley car.

The gang is thwarted.  But Wilton is undeterred.  His men steal the horse and car and hide it in a hidden lot.

Twenty-two hours pass.

Only two hours are left.

How will they find the horse and trolley?

How will they make another run in time?

How will they keep from going out of business and losing their investment?

Pop is despondent.

Jane cannot console him.

Speedy is flummoxed.

What will they do?

Speedy is Harold Lloyd's final silent feature film.

It is not the classic that Safety Last! is.

But it is funny.

Watch it with a 10-cent Coney Island from Coney Island.  And a 10-cent watermelon on ice.

Follow it with a 10-cent malted milkshake.

With a cherry on top.