284 - Withnail and I, United Kingdom, 1987. Dir. Bruce Robinson.
You're drunk.
I assure you I'm not, Officer. I've only had a few ales.
So responds Withnail (pronounced WITH-nul) to the police officer who has just pulled him over for driving exceedingly fast, without a license, and with lots of alcohol in his liver.
They have gone on a holiday. By mistake. From Camden to Cumbria. And Withnail is racing back with an apocalyptic sense of urgency.
Now he is in a jam.
No problem.
Withnail has concocted a scheme. He will insist on providing a urine sample. He has a bag of unadulterated child's pee in his pants' leg and a tube behind his zipper. He will urinate from the bag, provide a clean sample, and get off scot-free. Or in his case, scotch free. Or better yet, free scotch.
Withnail tries this trick while behind a curtain at the jailhouse. Unfortunately for him, however, the officer opens the curtain and catches him pale-yellow handed.
By now Withnail has already consumed large quantities of red wine, cider, gin, sherry, whiskey, scotch, and ale. Oh . . . and lighter fluid.
You can forgive the lighter fluid. After all, he was out of everything else. And he was desperate.
Withnail, played impeccably by teetotaler Richard E. Grant in his first film performance, was based on writer-director Bruce Robinson's former roommate and friend Vivian MacKerrell.
The two lived together at the end of the 60s, with quite a few other people, in flat in Camden. They were out-of-work actors, and they kept themselves busy by drinking. They went to the Spread Eagle pub at 11:00 am, stayed until 3:00 pm, and then went home and drank some more.
Robinson describes MacKerrell as a "jack of all, master of none," who was a tremendous personality and leader of the gang. He described himself as a great actor and claimed he would be better at writing, better at painting, and better at photography than anyone--if he ever tried any of it.
"But the fact is he never did anything. All he ever did was booze. And rant. He never worked once he left drama school."
Richard E. Grant says Robinson described the character as "a lying mendacious cowardly prancing, posing, utterly charming darling."
And Robinson wanted Grant, who had never been drunk, to have a "chemical memory" of having been drunk, so Grant got drunk one time before filming. It made him sick. He vomited. But he kept the memory and he induces this state, along with seeping rage, throughout the film without flinching.
Paul McGann plays "... & I," the actual name of his character. It was Marwood in the script, and the viewer can see the name on a telegram, but otherwise his name is "... & I."
"... & I" drinks right along with Withnail, but there is a sense of life in him that calls him back. The two are fighting against turning 30, against the end of the 1960s, against the loss of the hippie era, and against growing up. But sooner or later "... & I" will have to grow up, and in order to do so, he will have to move on.
Withnail is offered a role by his agent. As the the understudy for Constantine in The Seagull. It is a solid opportunity. How many people have gotten their break from playing understudy? Many. But Withnail is too good for that. He insults the producers. He insults his agent. He needs a drink.
While on their mistaken holiday these accidental tourists visit Withnail's uncle Montague who brings "... & I" no small amount of dread from his wanton desires. Withnail manipulates him into giving them the key to his country house, and the two encounter unwanted adventures stemming from their overall incompetence. But Monty will appear again and back "... & I" into a corner. How will "... & I" escape this predicament? Monty is played by screen veteran Richard Griffiths, whom you may know as Vernon from Harry Potter and King George from Pirates of the Caribbean. along with many other roles.
The two have a friend named Danny, who supplies them with drugs, drug wisdom, and quotable quotations, as well as a hanger-on named Presuming Ed, whose presence is never fully understood. Danny is played spot-on by Ralph Brown, who has also gone on to a successful career.
In the end Withnail has lost all his mirth and is left alone. And he finally plays Hamlet. To an audience of none.
Or a few animals if they are listening.
He flourishes with no one to watch him.
As he stands and delivers his soliloquy.
While drinking.
In the rain.
Chin chin.
* * * * *
References to Books--
H.E. Bates
R.G. Sheriff, Journey's End
Songs Played on the Soundtrack--
King Curtis, "A Whiter Shade of Pale"
Charlie Kunz, "My Friend"
Schubert Piano Sonata in B Flat Major
Charlie Kunz, "Walk Hand in Hand"
Jimi Hendrix, "All Along the Watchtower"
Al Bowlly, "Hang out the Stars in Indiana"
Jimi Hendrix, "Voodoo Child"
The Beatles, "While My Guitar Gently Weeps"
--Shakespeare--
I will tell you why; so shall my anticipation
prevent your discovery, and your secrecy to the king
and queen moult no feather. I have of late--but
wherefore I know not--lost all my mirth, forgone all
custom of exercises; and indeed it goes so heavily
with my disposition that this goodly frame, the
earth, seems to me a sterile promontory, this most
excellent canopy, the air, look you, this brave
o'erhanging firmament, this majestical roof fretted
with golden fire, why, it appears no other thing to
me than a foul and pestilent congregation of vapors
What a piece of work is a man! how noble in reason!
how infinite in faculty! in form and moving how
express and admirable! in action how like an angel!
in apprehension how like a god! the beauty of the
world! the paragon of animals! And yet, to me,
what is this quintessence of dust? man delights not
me: no, nor woman neither, though by your smiling
you seem to say so.
- Hamlet II.ii.293-310
--Withnail--
I have of late, but wherefore I know not, lost all my mirth.
And indeed it goes so heavily with my disposition
that this goodly frame the earth seems to me a sterile promontory.
It's a most excellent canopy, the air.
Look you, this brave, o'er hanging firmament.
This majesical roof fretted with golden fire.
Why, it appeareth nothing to me but a foul and pestilent congregation of vapors.
What a piece of work is a man, how noble in reason how infinite in faculties, how like an angel in apprehension.
How like a god!
The beauty of the world; paragon of animals; yet to me, what is this quintessence of dust?
Man delights not me.
No, nor women neither.
Nor women neither.
* * * * *
Special Feature
W is for wasted youth
I is for inspiration
T is for trainspotters
H is for hiring and firing
N is for novices
A is for adversity
I is for intoxication
L is for legacy
* * * * *
We can't go on like this! I'm a trained actor reduced to the state of a bum.
I demand to have some booze!
Hold that map, and look for a place called Crow Crag.
We've gone on holiday by mistake.
Get in the back of the van!
I mean to have you if it must be burglary.
Saint Peter approached the epistles to the apostles looking like that.
The carrot has mystery.
I feel like a pig shat in my head.
I don't advertise a haircut, man. All hairdressers are in the employment of the government.
If I medicined you, you'd think a brain tumor was a birthday present.
You've got an eel down your leg!
I pay you 10% for you to do that. Then lick 10% of the arses.
I loathe those Russian plays, always full of women staring out of windows, whining about ducks going to Moscow.
[This sentiment was also expressed by Dennis Hopper as Howard Payne in Jan de Bont's 1994 action hit Speed, when Keanu Reeves as Jack Traven calls him crazy. Payne says, "No. Poor people are crazy, Jack. I'm eccentric."]
Think he's happier than us?
This grass is the most powerful in the Western Hemisphere.
This grass grows exactly 2,00 feet above sea level.
London is a country coming down from its trip.
Why trust one drug and not the other? That's politics, isn't it?
They're selling hippie wigs in Woolworth's. The greatest generation in the world is over. We failed to paint it black.
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